“Humor”
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Hey Siri, Say Things Correctly.
Siri has decided to start pronouncing my friend Michelle’s very Italian surname as the decidedly French Mancineur. No punchline here, just a quirk of modern technology. 2 Continue reading
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That, or “The Rye or the Keiser”.
I have flashbacks to the war every time I hear “Eye of the Tiger”. My therapist refers to it as Survivor Guilt. 1 Continue reading
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Something’s Fishy.
Why is it better to order a five-piece serving of salmon omakase rather than 5 one-piece servings? Economies of scales. 1 Continue reading
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Everyone Deserves a Bad Day.
The Partner: Today’s not going well, can I have a do-over? Me: Sure, we’ll try again tomorrow. It’ll be 2sday. 1 Continue reading
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Ska bands, the most debauched of bands.
Park and Recreation S5E7: “It seems like the kind of place a ska band would go to shoot heroin”. Me: That doesn’t seem possible. Heroin is known to decrease the sex drive, and ska bands are notoriously… horny. The Girl: …you’re lucky I love you. 1 Continue reading
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scarred2112’s life with no context, #3.
“Jeans are the sexiest of all trousers”. 1 Continue reading
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scarred212’s life with no context, #2.
“The hands are the nipples of the arm”. 1 Continue reading
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scarred2112’s life with no context, #1.
“That’s not racism, it’s just British.” 1 Continue reading
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Rocky Horrible Humor.
Dr. Frank-N-Furter: scarred2112, have you heard that I’m very excited about my new career in waste collection? Me: Yes, I see you shiver with san… Image Description: the New York City Department of Sanitation’s Manhattan Garage Two, whose partially obscured sign reads “…itation”. 3 Continue reading